A Change in Mindset from New Year's Resolutions to Anytime of the Year Resolutions

This is an odd time of year. No man's land. The build-up and excitement of Christmas is over and suddenly the days between now and the New Year, Twixmas, are really just stepping stones to get us from one point in space and time to another. 

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

I always feel very low at this time of year, especially in January. Which feels like a never-ending month. For me, New Year celebrations have always been overrated. We are told how we are meant to think, feel and act, and that in itself makes this time hard when we can't possibly deliver on those high ideals and conjure up thoughts, feelings and actions to order. 

Don't get me started on New Year's resolutions. 

Why is this single point in time, a turning point in itself? Without some external or internal change bearing down on us, resolutions of any kind can't possibly stick. The clock ticking over and the year changing is hardly the impetus needed for habit change or habit formation. It requires digging deeper than that. It means we are already set for downfalls before we've even started. Good intentions are all well and good but not when it gets us to a worse place than where we started mentally, emotionally and physically. 

So, I always think we need to be realistic and make resolutions when it makes sense for us personally. Mine have never come at New Year's. Sometimes unfortunately, resolutions are made because we have no choice. We are thrust into positions where we need to make changes, against our will so to speak. Other times we take control and we decide to make resolutions. Usually, I find these happen when we have mentally reached a place where change is wanted and needed.

When I made my resolutions, earlier this year, it was based on the need to adapt to the changes happening in my life that were out of my control. 

It was my way of taking back control. It's not been easy. There have been lots of habit changes. I've been pushed out of my comfort zone and I'm not sure I'm happy with everything that is happening or the ratio in which they fill my time. I flit between being confident and happy in my resolutions to wondering if I've always made the right decisions. 

I think it's the nature of being human. Always questioning, always wondering if the path we are on, is the right one. I am full of doubts. I doubt my gut instinct that has always seen me through. When you read this blog, you may think I have it all figured out. I really don't. I don't know what I'm doing. I never have! I feel like I'm finding my way through life blindfolded and sometimes I get a little peek of light. Never enough of a peek, mind you, to make me feel confident of the path I tread.

Yes, people looking in will probably say, I've had a good year. I've achieved a lot. Maybe I have, but there is always mental and emotional turmoil. Looking calm on the surface, but thrashing like anything to keep afloat, like everyone else. The grass is definitely not always greener. 

Throwaway the concept of New Year's resolutions.

Make resolutions, when it makes sense to you as a person, on your own timetable. You'll end up making resolutions at times that serve you better and set you up in the best place to succeed. Resolutions can be anything but they have to be meaningful for you because it should be all about you and reflect what you want and need. It is neither a race or competition. Break them down. I always look for the small wins, to spur me on and show me the progress to keep me moving forward, toward bigger goals. 

More than anything, it's okay to feel whatever you want about everything — the year we've just lived, the present and the year ahead. 

If you are ready, it's okay to make resolutions now. 

It's equally okay to say, I'm not ready. I'll make resolutions when it suits me, on my own terms.

Wishing everyone all the best for 2025. I hope the next year, is better than the one before.