POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING. This post touches on grief, child loss, stillbirth and pregnancy complications. At the end, there are links to UK organisations that maybe helpful if you've been affected by anything you've read. Photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash This post starts and ends with Nick Cave .  Yes the Australian singer, Nick Cave .  The most I knew about him a couple plus years ago was that duet he sang with fellow Aussie Kylie , the Peaky Blinders theme song and The Mercy Seat re-released by Johnny Cash . I’d also vaguely heard about his sons' untimely deaths in the news. I was very ignorant to all things Nick Cave . After a hiatus, he started doing interviews again and it was around this time, in 2022, when I read an article that caught my attention and piqued my interest in Nick Cave . Nick Cave lost his teen son 7 years ago. Just as he finished a book about grief, the unthinkable happened. He was talking about writing a book with someone during lockdown and how ...

Whoever said you can have it all, was blatantly lying or living in an alternate reality. As I was discussing with a friend, we are a generation trying to live out this crazy fantasy instilled in us during childhood. There is this immense pressure and immense guilt on everyone's shoulders. Photo by K HOWARD on Unsplash Having it all, what does that even mean?  It means, not just having a job but having a career.  Great!  No, think again, that's just the beginning of the list that reaches the floor.  We need to have a significant other, that then becomes a spouse.  We must own a home.  We must then have children, not too early to cause condemnation but equally not too late, in case our ovaries have shrivelled up and died.  We must somehow then raise our children well, maintain the household to pristine condition, continue to have a close loving relationship with said spouse, all while holding down a job which we excel at. Wow, that's a lot but it doesn...

This week, my eldest turned 11, and it made me think about becoming a first time parent; the whole aspect of being a mum that nobody thinks to cover or talk enough about, if at all. Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash Obviously, what's covered is the practical side of pregnancy, birthing and then the initial stages of looking after said baby. The physical and emotional side of motherhood is usually in the context of the newborn and then, if you have decent care, about the baby blues and postnatal depression. There is a whole side of entering motherhood that isn't always properly explored or articulated. It's the loneliness.  Suddenly you aren't just you, you have the title of mum. You have the baby and usually most mothers have some time at home as maternity leave. I know the length of this varies dependent on where you live in the world and circumstances. In the UK, it's not unusual for women to take 12 months maternity leave.  The big question is, what happens during ...